Someone Else Not MeSometimes the forbidden fruit picks you.
Love – Who needs it? One day you’re fine, the next you’re acting like a schoolgirl and struggling to breathe as the hottest guy in town is close enough to kiss. And he’s way too young for you anyway. It’s been almost ten years since Sadie Kennedy has even been on a date. Almost ten years since the death of her husband. And everyone seems to think it’s time she got back in the saddle. A secret she’s never shared with her daughter, holds the key to why she has rejected the idea up to now. But with friends and family around her, should Sadie even consider rocking the boat by looking for something she didn’t even know she missed? With the countdown to her daughter's life at College well and truly on, Sadie is forced to address past heartbreak and mistakes made, as she’s faced with complicated new choices. Should she take the cushy option and fall into a nice safe relationship with a handsome colleague, or will unexpected attention from a much younger man give her back her own identity and turn her world upside down forever? All chapter excerpts remain the copyright of Lisa Halpin 2012 Read Chapter One right here (below) or visit Authonomy to read more : |
Chapter One
ONE
How the hell did you let this happen?
Right now your daughter hates you. Your best friend thinks you're the stupidest woman in the world.
And he's looking at you like you just ripped his heart out and served it back to him on a plate.
*. *. *. *
Fall 2011
The inside of the car smelled like wet dog. Which in itself was alarming, as I don't actually own a dog. Street after street had turned into pools of bubbling rain, reflecting every flicker of neon light on to the windscreen as I pulled up out front of the concert hall. The college crowd had all but gone, only stragglers remaining, all of them waiting on cabs or their respective rides home. I could see Maggie's petite frame standing a little ways back from the bus-stop watching the last of the students as they flirted clumsily with each other. I leaned my wrist into the steering wheel and beeped the horn and watched her teeter precariously towards the truck on very high heels.
If it weren't for the killer boots, she'd look like a kid.
She clambered into the passenger seat of my warm dry Hilux pickup, her tight jeans and pea jacket sodden through as she threw her umbrella onto the floor under the back seat, moaning loudly and adding to the damp dog aroma in the front of the vehicle.
"God help us!' she said, 'Living in a college town is great, y'know - it's got a certain buzz about it - but holy crap, Sid, it re does suffer from a severe lack of single grown up men"
"And it's good to see you too" I smirked.
"I'm sorry sweetie, it's good to see you, it is...and thanks for picking me up again. You'll be really glad to hear my car'll be ready first thing tomorrow and, hal-le-lujah, I cannot wait to have her back” she said, stretching her seatbelt in place with a click across her large breasts. Even after she'd been caught in the rain, her perfectly coiffeuered blonde hair still managed to look good. All the money she shelled out in fancy salons certainly paid off. But I knew she wasn't finished complaining, so I counted out the beats in my head until she resumed play.
One...two...three
"But seriously, did you see those guys?' she said, ' Com-plete-ly clueless"
"They're still kids, Maggie, little boys,' I said, pulling down the sun visor to check out my own hairstyle for the first time since being drenched by raindrops the size of golfballs. 'Just how smooth do you think they're gonna be - or want them to be, for that matter? I know I'd prefer it if at twenty years old, they weren't fully accomplished in the art of seduction just yet. As, I assume, would those girls' parents"
I don't have anything near Maggie's double-divorce settlement budget, but all things considered, I looked okay. I puffed my cheeks and blew out my bangs before mussing up my hair in the small visor mirror, hoping for 'tousled sexy' but managing to achieve something a little closer to Tommy Lee circa 1984. Surprisingly though, my eyeliner and mascara were still in the general eye area as opposed to halfway down my cheek, and there was an actual hint of lipstick to be seen, so there was something to be thankful for.
"Huh, yeah, I guess you're right' Maggie conceded with a sigh, 'But there's just no magic anymore is there? Dare I say it but even you, Sadie Kennedy, have to admit the lack of eligible bachelors of a certain age even remotely capable of a little romance is just plain...depressing. Where the hell are all the grown-ups?"
I laughed to hear the desperation in her voice and pulled back out into traffic.
"Oh, c'mon, I'm sure it's not all bad"
"Well, no offense sweetie, but you would say that" said Maggie.
"Wow. Offense taken, none the less, sweetie. What's that supposed to mean?"
"Of course it's 'not that bad'..' said Maggie, her fingers air-signing quotes, '..when you have about zero interest in finding anything remotely resembling a decent man. But for the rest of us, it's a goddamn nightmare out there"
"Jeez. Why do I feel like I've just been insulted?" I mumbled.
"Oh, honey, you know what I mean"
Yeah, I knew alright. The fact I hadn't had the tiniest sliver of interest in finding anyone since Joe died was undeniable, but whether it had been a conscious decision on my part was still up for debate. Being a good mother to my daughter Bridget had pretty much taken precedence over everything else ever since, so it was no surprise that all this time later I still hadn't ventured back on the dating scene. It just hadn’t factored into my plans somehow and I'd never entertained the notion that I might qualify as a romantic prospect for anybody before, so why bother now?
Who on earth would want to take on a widow and a grown up step-daughter anyway?
"Maybe it's time you got back out there. Y'know, give it a whirl?" suggested Maggie.
Here we go again.
"Maggie - you just said it yourself it's a nightmare - why the hell would I want to put myself through all that?" I laughed, trying to avoid an argument. 'And wouldn't that technically mean even more competition for the few enough men that you never tire of telling me about?"
"Yeah, there's that, I suppose' said Maggie, 'I mean, look at me, I'm not exactly going to give Julia, or Cameron, or Charlize any sleepless nights, so already I'm limited to the kind of guys that'll consider going out with me - but y'know what, I do it anyway. And why? Because it's fun...remember that? Besides, the law of averages says if I stick with it, my luck will change"
"Jesus, Maggie, who's clueless now?' I wailed. 'You make it sound like you'd be lucky to find someone that'd put up with you, when clearly any guy out there would be damn lucky to have you. You're fantastic for Christ's sake"
I gushed, stunned that my best friend in the whole world didn't believe she was anything less than a great catch. To me, she was the perfect little bundle - everything the glossy magazines always told you men wanted - someone who's pretty and confident, financially self-sufficient, funny, smart and, it had to be noted, was in possession of a tremendous set of breasts.
"But you..' Maggie continued, ignoring my compliment, '...man, you'd clean up out there"
"I'm not listening" I sang, shaking my head like a dashboard toy.
"I just know you'd be the one who'd sail into a cosy little relationship with somebody perfect' she continued, '..who instantly adores you and Bridget and no doubt confesses his undying love and devotion to you on the first date"
I blew out my mouth again, tired of hearing the same old stuff. It was the same old spiel Maggie had been sprouting since roughly a year or so after I lost my husband Joe to a car accident, until eventually she managed to recruit Bridget along in her crusade. And neither of them had let up since.
"You're wasting your time, Maggie" I said, watching the lights ahead.
"I know, I know...but I swear I'm not giving up. I'll drive you crazy with it until you see sense. God only knows why you're so set against it - you've still got a good few years left in you"
"Oh, you think?' I said dripping in sarcasm, 'Thanks"
"You got a killer body and a great face. And more importantly, your ass and boobs still face up and out exactly where they should be - all of which I hate you for, by the way - so there's absolutely NO reason you have to face the rest of your life alone"
"Jesus Christ, I'm still in my thirties" I argued.
"Yeah, but not for very much longer" she sang.
Again, I hated to admit it but Maggie was right. My thirty-eighth birthday was right around the corner, just a few months away, but she made it sound like I was already shuffling my way towards Zimmer frames and retirement homes.
Christ I haven't flirted with anyone since my college days - I'm so out of touch. How the hell do people even flirt now? What's too little, or too much? Do you do it all by text?
"Maggie, please, you're not going to change my mind on this. I really don't know how many different ways I can keep saying the same thing - I'm perfectly happy with how things are. I've been on my own far too long now to start jumping through hoops to please some guy, or even worse, a string of 'some guys'. And for what? So I get to fight for the covers at night as I drown out the sound of his snoring? No thanks"
"Oh! Oh, that's good. That's the kind of positive mental attitude I like to hear" hissed Maggie, 'So your alternative is to what - settle for being alone because it's easier than risk having your heart broken again?"
"Nuh-uh...' I drawled, glancing in the rearview mirror again, reluctant to admit the possibility that my pocket-sized friend had a very valid point. 'OK. Maybe...but so what? Isn't that my choice to make?"
We let the words dangle between us, knowing if pushed any further our so far light-hearted exchange risked progressing into a full blown, throw-down, locked horns argument.
"Look,' I said, my white flag waving, 'can we please just drop it for now? I don't want an atmosphere when we get home - Bridget is looking forward to having everybody over for dinner to celebrate her birthday and I'd really like to just enjoy it"
Maggie relaxed in the seat beside me and smiled.
"Sure sweetie...I'm sorry" she said.
"Nothing to apologize about - I know it's only because you worry about me - and believe me, I wouldn't have it any other way' I said, my eyes fixed on the road as I reached across and lightly touched Maggie's cold, rain-soaked hand. 'Let's get going - this meal isn't going to cook itself"
I had called Bridget a little earlier from the produce store instructing her to fire up the barbecue so it'd be good and hot by the time we made it back with the mountain of food we now had stashed on the back seats. The weather hadn't exactly played ball with my plans to eat outdoors, but it was late September in New York; the best we could hope for was that the awning in the backyard would hold off at least some of the elements, destroying any chance of being struck down with flu. The day's steady stream of rain had only just begun to let up and the evening showed faint signs of calming, despite the blue LED reader on the dashboard flashing a chilly fifty-three Fahrenheit.
As we rolled through town towards Cayuga Heights, I nodded my usual silent salute to Ithaca Falls as we passed by. They were where I usually went to clear my head and think things through, and I often stopped by and jotted down plans and ideas, or simply listened to the water cascading down the step-stone formations when everything got too crazy. This time of year there were only ever a few rain-soaked tourists brave enough to come down and admire the Falls' chilly beauty before the big winter freeze. They were at their most beautiful when the icicles hung down long from the branches all around and the gushing water froze mid-flow down over the rocks. But tonight I didn't have the time to stop by. I simply bid them a little greeting as I drove towards home. It was the polite thing to do, like doffing my hat at a friend.
We slowed up as we approached the junction, Maggie listing off the shopping list from my purse as I confirmed each item as complete. Out the corner of my eye I noticed a small group waiting to cross the street, goofing around, guys pea-cocking for anyone who cared to notice as they dribbled a basketball between them. I knew full well if I had spotted them, all glistening abs and biceps sans jackets or sweaters, despite the weather, then Maggie and her built-in hottie detector most definitely did too.
In a heartbeat she unclipped her seatbelt and reached for the arrow button on the door, sliding the window downwards before letting out an eardrum-busting wolf whistle.
"Hey boys...ya wanna have some fun?" she hollered before launching her body off the seat and onto the floor of the cab at the speed of light.
They moved as one off the sidewalk, turning swiftly like a pack of prairie dogs and I cursed her as they saw only me sitting in the car. Panic took over and I did the only thing I could think to do; I adopted a queer puzzled look and peered around me from all angles as though trying to figure out where the crude proposal had come from.
Maggie hooted with laughter in the space next to me as the boys sprang to life, howling back cat-calls of their own while I willed the lights to change that bit quicker than usual, spinning the wheels of the truck loudly as they finally flicked to green, only narrowly avoiding a cyclist coming up on my passenger side.
"Maggie!' I hissed, 'For Christ's sake, what the hell'd you do that for?"
Bent double in the foot space and struggling for breath, Maggie looked up unable to speak, seeing me scowling down from above her.
"Shit - are you okay?" I asked, suddenly concerned to see her face so puffed and red.
Maggie raised herself back up to a sitting position and finally caught her breath.
"Your face...' she hooted, hers beet red and strained. 'It's priceless, Sid. Y'know what...and I can't be a hundred percent sure about this, but I think there's a good chance I might actually have peed myself. A little"
"Oh, very funny' I said, my eyes on the road but no longer able to maintain the illusion of anger. I felt the corners of my mouth curl into a smile, wider and wider until finally I gave in to it. 'You're a freak"
Nobody ever made me laugh as much as Maggie did, and I loved her for it. No matter how awful or desperate a situation was she always saw the funny side, bringing everyone else along for the ride. Along with Joe's twin sister Lottie we'd been a gang of three, acting as one another's support system throughout the years, facing everything together - my unplanned pregnancy and dropping out of college to be a mother and wife, Maggie's two divorces, Lottie's evolving sexuality and ever turbulent love life and perhaps most shockingly, Joe's death. Never more so had they proved themselves as friends to me than in the days and weeks immediately after; when almost everyone else I knew drifted away, some of them too young to understand or simply uneasy and afraid to be anywhere near 'poor Sadie' - as if being widowed at twenty-nine was contagious.
We pulled up in the driveway five minutes later, still laughing as we gathered up our haul and mounted the steps of the porch. I could hear music coming from the backyard and the sound of Bridget's boyfriend Arthur goofing around as he played to the rogue's gallery of Bridget and her best friends Molly and Karl.
We struggled up the steps with two heavy bags apiece, the wind picking up and blowing my hair into my eyes as I turned the key in the front door, when I heard a loud thud from behind me and turned to see a grocery bag hit the floor, it's contents exploding all over the porch, as Maggie hurtled helplessly forwards. She stretched out her arms, a graceless flailing attempt to stop from hitting the deck full force, as the spindly heel of one expensive boot snapped and remained stuck between the boards of the top step. She landed, splayed on all fours at my feet.
There was a moment of stunned silence before I saw Maggie's shoulders begin to shake.
And then I heard it. The familiar titter that preceded the deep, bellowing laugh I'd heard a million times before. The laugh that, if nothing else, confirmed she was okay - no bones broken.
"Here, let me help you with those" came a voice from the driveway, surprising us both.
We looked up to see an unfamiliar young man abandon a battered old mountain bike on the lawn, taking the front steps two at a time to help get Maggie back on her feet. We did a double-take, looking from him to each other with mouths falling open like cartoon characters, only missing our eyes out on stalks and the sound of a comedy squeeze horn.
"You okay?" he asked us, raising Maggie to her feet with ease, his long lean frame outlined in black in a short leather jacket, t-shirt and skinny black jeans, all accented by a pair of well worn red Converse on his feet.
He was good-looking. Nah, strike that, he was something altogether closer to beautiful. He had a well-defined and wide pink mouth, cheekbones so sharp they looked like they'd been cut from diamonds, a strong but ever so slightly misshapen nose, and wide hazel eyes flanked by long eyelashes and heavy eyebrows. He looked like a rock star - all disheveled hair and worn out clothes - with just the right balance of handsomeness and beauty in his face. It was a strange and potent cocktail that loaned an air of elegance in an otherwise punked up rock and roll package.
Whatever it was about him, I heard myself gulp like a starstruck teenager as he flashed a warm bright smile and ran his hand quickly through his hair, his fingers adopting a weird twisted appearance as though locked by a sudden attack of carpal tunnel, as they moved awkwardly through the front of his hair. It was a tiny fleeting flicker of self-consciousness and betrayed his otherwise cool appearance.
"I'm Jake" he said, politely offering out a hand for either of us to shake, the information not immediately registering with us. "Uh...Bridget's friend, Jake Lockwood?"
Maggie grabbed his hand quickly, and I supposed it was as much by way of introduction as it was an excuse to touch him. As though needing to make sure he was real. I could hardly blame her. I laughed inside my head, thinking all that was missing from the vision before me was a choir of heavenly angels heralding his arrival and raising him on high, so that his feet, which I could only assume were also beautiful, never touched the ground.
"I'm Maggie...and I'm very pleased to meet you, Jake' she purred, hanging on to him. 'I am truly sorry you had to see that. But it's a good thing for us that you were here. Isn't that right, Sid?"
Us? I'm not the one that had my ass in the air.
"Uh, what?...' I mumbled, my voice cracking as the wind blew my hair around again and I cleared my throat. 'Oh yeah...sure. There's nothing hurt here more than Maggie's pride"
"Sid?" he asked, screwing up his face, his hand held out in my direction. "Then you must be Bridget's mom? I've heard all about you"
I reached out and took his hand, holding onto it slightly longer than was needed or comfortable for either of us as I stared into his near flawless face.
"Yeah, that's right. Well, it's Sadie really..' I offered, fully convinced my pupils were whirring in hypnotic swirls, '...only a couple people call me Sid. We've heard a lot about you too Jake, but to be honest, we were beginning to think you were a figment of Bridget's imagination. You've not been by the house before, have you?"
"Nope. Not so far" he said.
"Well, you're just in time' I said, 'Everybody should be here. Go straight on out back through the kitchen"
"Thanks' he said, as Maggie and I moved aside to let him pass. He entered the house and moved slow, almost catlike down the hall. 'Bridget talks about you guys all the time..."
Following silently behind him, we watched until he disappeared around the kitchen door.
"Oh. My. God' mouthed Maggie, dramatically, 'What the hell was that?"
"I don't know,' I giggled under my breath, 'but I think that might be what Jesus looks like"
"Man, oh man, if I was only ten years younger, I would be on that boy like a rash" whispered Maggie.
"Really? You're going with just the ten years?' I challenged, shaking my head in disbelief and eyeballing her. "He's probably about nineteen, maybe twenty? You could still be his mother, for Christ's sake"
Copyright Lisa Halpin 2012
How the hell did you let this happen?
Right now your daughter hates you. Your best friend thinks you're the stupidest woman in the world.
And he's looking at you like you just ripped his heart out and served it back to him on a plate.
*. *. *. *
Fall 2011
The inside of the car smelled like wet dog. Which in itself was alarming, as I don't actually own a dog. Street after street had turned into pools of bubbling rain, reflecting every flicker of neon light on to the windscreen as I pulled up out front of the concert hall. The college crowd had all but gone, only stragglers remaining, all of them waiting on cabs or their respective rides home. I could see Maggie's petite frame standing a little ways back from the bus-stop watching the last of the students as they flirted clumsily with each other. I leaned my wrist into the steering wheel and beeped the horn and watched her teeter precariously towards the truck on very high heels.
If it weren't for the killer boots, she'd look like a kid.
She clambered into the passenger seat of my warm dry Hilux pickup, her tight jeans and pea jacket sodden through as she threw her umbrella onto the floor under the back seat, moaning loudly and adding to the damp dog aroma in the front of the vehicle.
"God help us!' she said, 'Living in a college town is great, y'know - it's got a certain buzz about it - but holy crap, Sid, it re does suffer from a severe lack of single grown up men"
"And it's good to see you too" I smirked.
"I'm sorry sweetie, it's good to see you, it is...and thanks for picking me up again. You'll be really glad to hear my car'll be ready first thing tomorrow and, hal-le-lujah, I cannot wait to have her back” she said, stretching her seatbelt in place with a click across her large breasts. Even after she'd been caught in the rain, her perfectly coiffeuered blonde hair still managed to look good. All the money she shelled out in fancy salons certainly paid off. But I knew she wasn't finished complaining, so I counted out the beats in my head until she resumed play.
One...two...three
"But seriously, did you see those guys?' she said, ' Com-plete-ly clueless"
"They're still kids, Maggie, little boys,' I said, pulling down the sun visor to check out my own hairstyle for the first time since being drenched by raindrops the size of golfballs. 'Just how smooth do you think they're gonna be - or want them to be, for that matter? I know I'd prefer it if at twenty years old, they weren't fully accomplished in the art of seduction just yet. As, I assume, would those girls' parents"
I don't have anything near Maggie's double-divorce settlement budget, but all things considered, I looked okay. I puffed my cheeks and blew out my bangs before mussing up my hair in the small visor mirror, hoping for 'tousled sexy' but managing to achieve something a little closer to Tommy Lee circa 1984. Surprisingly though, my eyeliner and mascara were still in the general eye area as opposed to halfway down my cheek, and there was an actual hint of lipstick to be seen, so there was something to be thankful for.
"Huh, yeah, I guess you're right' Maggie conceded with a sigh, 'But there's just no magic anymore is there? Dare I say it but even you, Sadie Kennedy, have to admit the lack of eligible bachelors of a certain age even remotely capable of a little romance is just plain...depressing. Where the hell are all the grown-ups?"
I laughed to hear the desperation in her voice and pulled back out into traffic.
"Oh, c'mon, I'm sure it's not all bad"
"Well, no offense sweetie, but you would say that" said Maggie.
"Wow. Offense taken, none the less, sweetie. What's that supposed to mean?"
"Of course it's 'not that bad'..' said Maggie, her fingers air-signing quotes, '..when you have about zero interest in finding anything remotely resembling a decent man. But for the rest of us, it's a goddamn nightmare out there"
"Jeez. Why do I feel like I've just been insulted?" I mumbled.
"Oh, honey, you know what I mean"
Yeah, I knew alright. The fact I hadn't had the tiniest sliver of interest in finding anyone since Joe died was undeniable, but whether it had been a conscious decision on my part was still up for debate. Being a good mother to my daughter Bridget had pretty much taken precedence over everything else ever since, so it was no surprise that all this time later I still hadn't ventured back on the dating scene. It just hadn’t factored into my plans somehow and I'd never entertained the notion that I might qualify as a romantic prospect for anybody before, so why bother now?
Who on earth would want to take on a widow and a grown up step-daughter anyway?
"Maybe it's time you got back out there. Y'know, give it a whirl?" suggested Maggie.
Here we go again.
"Maggie - you just said it yourself it's a nightmare - why the hell would I want to put myself through all that?" I laughed, trying to avoid an argument. 'And wouldn't that technically mean even more competition for the few enough men that you never tire of telling me about?"
"Yeah, there's that, I suppose' said Maggie, 'I mean, look at me, I'm not exactly going to give Julia, or Cameron, or Charlize any sleepless nights, so already I'm limited to the kind of guys that'll consider going out with me - but y'know what, I do it anyway. And why? Because it's fun...remember that? Besides, the law of averages says if I stick with it, my luck will change"
"Jesus, Maggie, who's clueless now?' I wailed. 'You make it sound like you'd be lucky to find someone that'd put up with you, when clearly any guy out there would be damn lucky to have you. You're fantastic for Christ's sake"
I gushed, stunned that my best friend in the whole world didn't believe she was anything less than a great catch. To me, she was the perfect little bundle - everything the glossy magazines always told you men wanted - someone who's pretty and confident, financially self-sufficient, funny, smart and, it had to be noted, was in possession of a tremendous set of breasts.
"But you..' Maggie continued, ignoring my compliment, '...man, you'd clean up out there"
"I'm not listening" I sang, shaking my head like a dashboard toy.
"I just know you'd be the one who'd sail into a cosy little relationship with somebody perfect' she continued, '..who instantly adores you and Bridget and no doubt confesses his undying love and devotion to you on the first date"
I blew out my mouth again, tired of hearing the same old stuff. It was the same old spiel Maggie had been sprouting since roughly a year or so after I lost my husband Joe to a car accident, until eventually she managed to recruit Bridget along in her crusade. And neither of them had let up since.
"You're wasting your time, Maggie" I said, watching the lights ahead.
"I know, I know...but I swear I'm not giving up. I'll drive you crazy with it until you see sense. God only knows why you're so set against it - you've still got a good few years left in you"
"Oh, you think?' I said dripping in sarcasm, 'Thanks"
"You got a killer body and a great face. And more importantly, your ass and boobs still face up and out exactly where they should be - all of which I hate you for, by the way - so there's absolutely NO reason you have to face the rest of your life alone"
"Jesus Christ, I'm still in my thirties" I argued.
"Yeah, but not for very much longer" she sang.
Again, I hated to admit it but Maggie was right. My thirty-eighth birthday was right around the corner, just a few months away, but she made it sound like I was already shuffling my way towards Zimmer frames and retirement homes.
Christ I haven't flirted with anyone since my college days - I'm so out of touch. How the hell do people even flirt now? What's too little, or too much? Do you do it all by text?
"Maggie, please, you're not going to change my mind on this. I really don't know how many different ways I can keep saying the same thing - I'm perfectly happy with how things are. I've been on my own far too long now to start jumping through hoops to please some guy, or even worse, a string of 'some guys'. And for what? So I get to fight for the covers at night as I drown out the sound of his snoring? No thanks"
"Oh! Oh, that's good. That's the kind of positive mental attitude I like to hear" hissed Maggie, 'So your alternative is to what - settle for being alone because it's easier than risk having your heart broken again?"
"Nuh-uh...' I drawled, glancing in the rearview mirror again, reluctant to admit the possibility that my pocket-sized friend had a very valid point. 'OK. Maybe...but so what? Isn't that my choice to make?"
We let the words dangle between us, knowing if pushed any further our so far light-hearted exchange risked progressing into a full blown, throw-down, locked horns argument.
"Look,' I said, my white flag waving, 'can we please just drop it for now? I don't want an atmosphere when we get home - Bridget is looking forward to having everybody over for dinner to celebrate her birthday and I'd really like to just enjoy it"
Maggie relaxed in the seat beside me and smiled.
"Sure sweetie...I'm sorry" she said.
"Nothing to apologize about - I know it's only because you worry about me - and believe me, I wouldn't have it any other way' I said, my eyes fixed on the road as I reached across and lightly touched Maggie's cold, rain-soaked hand. 'Let's get going - this meal isn't going to cook itself"
I had called Bridget a little earlier from the produce store instructing her to fire up the barbecue so it'd be good and hot by the time we made it back with the mountain of food we now had stashed on the back seats. The weather hadn't exactly played ball with my plans to eat outdoors, but it was late September in New York; the best we could hope for was that the awning in the backyard would hold off at least some of the elements, destroying any chance of being struck down with flu. The day's steady stream of rain had only just begun to let up and the evening showed faint signs of calming, despite the blue LED reader on the dashboard flashing a chilly fifty-three Fahrenheit.
As we rolled through town towards Cayuga Heights, I nodded my usual silent salute to Ithaca Falls as we passed by. They were where I usually went to clear my head and think things through, and I often stopped by and jotted down plans and ideas, or simply listened to the water cascading down the step-stone formations when everything got too crazy. This time of year there were only ever a few rain-soaked tourists brave enough to come down and admire the Falls' chilly beauty before the big winter freeze. They were at their most beautiful when the icicles hung down long from the branches all around and the gushing water froze mid-flow down over the rocks. But tonight I didn't have the time to stop by. I simply bid them a little greeting as I drove towards home. It was the polite thing to do, like doffing my hat at a friend.
We slowed up as we approached the junction, Maggie listing off the shopping list from my purse as I confirmed each item as complete. Out the corner of my eye I noticed a small group waiting to cross the street, goofing around, guys pea-cocking for anyone who cared to notice as they dribbled a basketball between them. I knew full well if I had spotted them, all glistening abs and biceps sans jackets or sweaters, despite the weather, then Maggie and her built-in hottie detector most definitely did too.
In a heartbeat she unclipped her seatbelt and reached for the arrow button on the door, sliding the window downwards before letting out an eardrum-busting wolf whistle.
"Hey boys...ya wanna have some fun?" she hollered before launching her body off the seat and onto the floor of the cab at the speed of light.
They moved as one off the sidewalk, turning swiftly like a pack of prairie dogs and I cursed her as they saw only me sitting in the car. Panic took over and I did the only thing I could think to do; I adopted a queer puzzled look and peered around me from all angles as though trying to figure out where the crude proposal had come from.
Maggie hooted with laughter in the space next to me as the boys sprang to life, howling back cat-calls of their own while I willed the lights to change that bit quicker than usual, spinning the wheels of the truck loudly as they finally flicked to green, only narrowly avoiding a cyclist coming up on my passenger side.
"Maggie!' I hissed, 'For Christ's sake, what the hell'd you do that for?"
Bent double in the foot space and struggling for breath, Maggie looked up unable to speak, seeing me scowling down from above her.
"Shit - are you okay?" I asked, suddenly concerned to see her face so puffed and red.
Maggie raised herself back up to a sitting position and finally caught her breath.
"Your face...' she hooted, hers beet red and strained. 'It's priceless, Sid. Y'know what...and I can't be a hundred percent sure about this, but I think there's a good chance I might actually have peed myself. A little"
"Oh, very funny' I said, my eyes on the road but no longer able to maintain the illusion of anger. I felt the corners of my mouth curl into a smile, wider and wider until finally I gave in to it. 'You're a freak"
Nobody ever made me laugh as much as Maggie did, and I loved her for it. No matter how awful or desperate a situation was she always saw the funny side, bringing everyone else along for the ride. Along with Joe's twin sister Lottie we'd been a gang of three, acting as one another's support system throughout the years, facing everything together - my unplanned pregnancy and dropping out of college to be a mother and wife, Maggie's two divorces, Lottie's evolving sexuality and ever turbulent love life and perhaps most shockingly, Joe's death. Never more so had they proved themselves as friends to me than in the days and weeks immediately after; when almost everyone else I knew drifted away, some of them too young to understand or simply uneasy and afraid to be anywhere near 'poor Sadie' - as if being widowed at twenty-nine was contagious.
We pulled up in the driveway five minutes later, still laughing as we gathered up our haul and mounted the steps of the porch. I could hear music coming from the backyard and the sound of Bridget's boyfriend Arthur goofing around as he played to the rogue's gallery of Bridget and her best friends Molly and Karl.
We struggled up the steps with two heavy bags apiece, the wind picking up and blowing my hair into my eyes as I turned the key in the front door, when I heard a loud thud from behind me and turned to see a grocery bag hit the floor, it's contents exploding all over the porch, as Maggie hurtled helplessly forwards. She stretched out her arms, a graceless flailing attempt to stop from hitting the deck full force, as the spindly heel of one expensive boot snapped and remained stuck between the boards of the top step. She landed, splayed on all fours at my feet.
There was a moment of stunned silence before I saw Maggie's shoulders begin to shake.
And then I heard it. The familiar titter that preceded the deep, bellowing laugh I'd heard a million times before. The laugh that, if nothing else, confirmed she was okay - no bones broken.
"Here, let me help you with those" came a voice from the driveway, surprising us both.
We looked up to see an unfamiliar young man abandon a battered old mountain bike on the lawn, taking the front steps two at a time to help get Maggie back on her feet. We did a double-take, looking from him to each other with mouths falling open like cartoon characters, only missing our eyes out on stalks and the sound of a comedy squeeze horn.
"You okay?" he asked us, raising Maggie to her feet with ease, his long lean frame outlined in black in a short leather jacket, t-shirt and skinny black jeans, all accented by a pair of well worn red Converse on his feet.
He was good-looking. Nah, strike that, he was something altogether closer to beautiful. He had a well-defined and wide pink mouth, cheekbones so sharp they looked like they'd been cut from diamonds, a strong but ever so slightly misshapen nose, and wide hazel eyes flanked by long eyelashes and heavy eyebrows. He looked like a rock star - all disheveled hair and worn out clothes - with just the right balance of handsomeness and beauty in his face. It was a strange and potent cocktail that loaned an air of elegance in an otherwise punked up rock and roll package.
Whatever it was about him, I heard myself gulp like a starstruck teenager as he flashed a warm bright smile and ran his hand quickly through his hair, his fingers adopting a weird twisted appearance as though locked by a sudden attack of carpal tunnel, as they moved awkwardly through the front of his hair. It was a tiny fleeting flicker of self-consciousness and betrayed his otherwise cool appearance.
"I'm Jake" he said, politely offering out a hand for either of us to shake, the information not immediately registering with us. "Uh...Bridget's friend, Jake Lockwood?"
Maggie grabbed his hand quickly, and I supposed it was as much by way of introduction as it was an excuse to touch him. As though needing to make sure he was real. I could hardly blame her. I laughed inside my head, thinking all that was missing from the vision before me was a choir of heavenly angels heralding his arrival and raising him on high, so that his feet, which I could only assume were also beautiful, never touched the ground.
"I'm Maggie...and I'm very pleased to meet you, Jake' she purred, hanging on to him. 'I am truly sorry you had to see that. But it's a good thing for us that you were here. Isn't that right, Sid?"
Us? I'm not the one that had my ass in the air.
"Uh, what?...' I mumbled, my voice cracking as the wind blew my hair around again and I cleared my throat. 'Oh yeah...sure. There's nothing hurt here more than Maggie's pride"
"Sid?" he asked, screwing up his face, his hand held out in my direction. "Then you must be Bridget's mom? I've heard all about you"
I reached out and took his hand, holding onto it slightly longer than was needed or comfortable for either of us as I stared into his near flawless face.
"Yeah, that's right. Well, it's Sadie really..' I offered, fully convinced my pupils were whirring in hypnotic swirls, '...only a couple people call me Sid. We've heard a lot about you too Jake, but to be honest, we were beginning to think you were a figment of Bridget's imagination. You've not been by the house before, have you?"
"Nope. Not so far" he said.
"Well, you're just in time' I said, 'Everybody should be here. Go straight on out back through the kitchen"
"Thanks' he said, as Maggie and I moved aside to let him pass. He entered the house and moved slow, almost catlike down the hall. 'Bridget talks about you guys all the time..."
Following silently behind him, we watched until he disappeared around the kitchen door.
"Oh. My. God' mouthed Maggie, dramatically, 'What the hell was that?"
"I don't know,' I giggled under my breath, 'but I think that might be what Jesus looks like"
"Man, oh man, if I was only ten years younger, I would be on that boy like a rash" whispered Maggie.
"Really? You're going with just the ten years?' I challenged, shaking my head in disbelief and eyeballing her. "He's probably about nineteen, maybe twenty? You could still be his mother, for Christ's sake"
Copyright Lisa Halpin 2012